Learn how to deepen the IFS healing process by focusing on The Gifts of The Exiles
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Gain access to the recordings of this online IFS workshop series (no time limits).
During "The Gifts of Our Exiles in IFS" workshop series you will learn:
- How to identify the exile’s Gifts.
- How to help the client’s protective system differentiate between the exile and its burden.
- The importance of the unique individual True Self.
- Strategies for facilitating and deepening the healing process.
IFS & The exile's gifts
Most human beings, clients and therapists alike, find approaching our most vulnerable and wounded parts frightening. The protective parts of us see our exiles as dangerous, shameful, too intense, or too fragile. Inherently defective and unfixable. They are unable to see beyond the exile’s burdens, and even the exiles often think they are their burden.
One of the keys to healing is helping the client’s protective system differentiate between the exile’s burdens and its true nature, which has gotten obscured. When we help the client and their protectors recognize the exile’s gifts, it can ease their resistance to connecting with exiles and allow space for healing to take place.
Awareness of the exile’s gifts adds to the power of the healing steps and strengthens the integration of the unburdened exiles.
Three kinds of gifts
There are three kinds of gifts I refer to:
- 1. Holding the burden of the trauma for the rest of the system, so other parts can move on.
- 2. Shaping our lives in some positive ways as a result of the wounds and traumas we have taken on.
- 3. Perhaps the most important gift is that when exiles are unburdened they enable us to connect with our True Self and the unique qualities and gifts we have to offer the world. Our aliveness, our joy, our passion, and many other qualities are brought back to us when we reintegrate our exiles.
By True Self I mean the unique essence that each human being has, which means that we are each, like a snowflake, a true individual, with unique gifts to offer the world, and a unique path to follow.
In unburdening our exiles, we don’t just free them from their burdens, we can enable the whole system to reconnect with this sense of who I truly am and who I am meant to be and what my life can be about.
In "The Gifts of Our Exiles in IFS" workshop you will learn:
- The three different kinds of gifts exiles offer.
- How the individual’s True Self fits with the Universal Self emphasized in the IFS model as the source of healing.
- The three shifts of identity that can occur in the healing process.
- Strategies for integrating these ideas at different stages of the work.
The strategies we will describe include:
- Using direct access with protectors.
- Helping clients retrieve positive experiences of having been seen and cared for.
- Helping clients access Self and feel seen by tapping into the Larger Collective Self.
- Creating an inner healing circle.
- Reflecting back qualities of the exile during witnessing.
- Focusing on the exile’s gifts during the invitation and integration phase.
The contents of this series
"The Gifts of Our Exiles in IFS" series includes teaching and discussion, case examples, demonstration videos and experiential learning. It doesn’t include practice groups (facilitating short sessions with other participants). Instead, Paul will lead guided meditations and exercises. The trainer will also provide detailed guidelines for practice that you can use with colleagues and clients.
Workshop 1: Opening the eyes of protectors
You will:
- Learn about the idea of the True Self.
- Learn about the kinds of gifts exiles have to offer.
- Learn about the shifts in identity IFS offers us.
- Learn how to use direct access to help Protectors distinguish the exile’s true nature from its burden.
- Experience a writing exercise to connect with protectors.
Workshop 2: Creating an inner healing circle and accessing the field of Self Energy
You will:
- Learn to identify protectors’ gifts and recruit them to form an inner healing circle.
- Learn how to help clients bring in a caring person, or being, or experience in nature, as a way to connect with the larger field of Self Energy.
- Learn about different strategies for different stages of therapy that support identifying the exile’s gifts.
- Experience a writing exercise to connect with exiles.
- Hear about case examples of clients experiencing this work.
- Learn a drawing exercise to help differentiate an exile from its burden.
Workshop 3: Identifying the Exile’s Gifts
You will:
- Learn about how you can notice the exile’s gifts while witnessing their story.
- Learn how both the therapist and the client’s Self can reflect the exile’s gifts back to them.
- Learn how this process can deepen the connection between client’s Self and the exile and help the protective system relax.
- Watch a demonstration of this process.
- Practice in triads noticing and reflecting the positive qualities of both protectors and exiles.
Workshop 4: Deepening the transformation by focusing on the gifts
You will:
- Learn how focusing on the exile’s true nature and its gifts for the client makes the Invitation stage of the unburdening even more powerful.
- Learn how to integrate this powerful experience in the Integration stage.
- Watch a demonstration of this process.
- Practice in triads.
- Have an opportunity to share challenges and questions in beginning to do this work.
Sign up for "The Gifts of Our Exiles in IFS"
A series of 4 IFS online workshops with Paul Neustadt
Learn how to deepen the IFS healing process by focusing on the gifts of the exiles
By signing up for "The Gifts of Our Exiles in IFS" workshop series you get:
- All-time access to the recordings of 4 workshops – no time limits,
- Training materials ready for printing,
- Certificate of Completion,
- 12 IFS CEs available to be applied for IFS certification for those who have completed Level 1 training.
Meet the teacher
Paul Neustadt
Paul Neustadt, MSS, LICSW, is a senior IFS Co-Lead Trainer. He also co-leads a monthly seminar for IFS Level 1 training graduates focused on integrating the skills learned in the Level 1 training.
He has led workshops on Self Led Parenting, the Therapeutic Relationship in IFS, Direct Access: An Essential Skill of IFS, IFS and Climate Change, and The Gifts of Our Exiles.
For 17 years Paul was director of a community counselling and prevention program for children, adolescents, and their families. Paul has also worked in a college counselling centre and community mental health centre, and taught couples and family therapy in a family therapy institute and two graduate programs. In his private practice, Paul now specializes in IFS consultation, both group and individual.
See what others say about Paul
I have known Paul Neustadt for over 12 years. I have been a student of his and on his training staff for at least five programs. Paul is a gifted teacher. His presentations have a clarity and accessibility that is greatly appreciated. Each point builds on the next in a way that is clear and easily understood by the participants. I have seen many, many demonstrations Paul has done, which of course show the model but also bring healing and transformation to the “client” in the demo. Paul brings a presence that is warm, authentic, and approachable.
Jim Abrams, Ph.D.
Paul Neustadt, is a wonderful colleague and invaluable resource for the IFS community. I have been lucky enough to collaborate with Paul since early 2020. Paul is a seasoned psychotherapist, inspiring case consultant, and a skilled writer in the field. He specializes in self led parenting, couples therapy, direct access, and more.
I found Paul’s view on “the gifts of our exiles” such a remarkable and refreshing perspective, helping us welcome and appreciate those younger sensitive parts of our systems. I strongly recommend Paul’s workshop.Anibal Henriques, Psychotherapist and Trainer, Creator and Co-host of IFSTalks podcast
and organizer of IFS trainings in Portugal
Completion of IFS Level 1 Training is not required
At the same time, you need to know the fundamentals of IFS as no basic didactics about the model will be offered.
Make sure that you:
- have completed a thorough introductory course/workshop about IFS or the IFSI Online Circle,
- have a desire to embody the IFS Model – deepen the knowledge of your own system, and learn tools that will aid you in this process.
How it works
The workshop was held live on January and February 2022.
The whole process has been structured so that you can go through it at any time, at your own pace. Explore almost 10 hours of video material - it's important that you find the right space to immerse yourself in this process.
The recording contain didactics, meditations and practice instructions so you will be able to do personal work in your own time. Please note that the practice groups sessions, live demos and the group sharings were not recorded.
Remember that you get unlimited access to the course recordings, which means you will be able to view them in a year or even in a few years.
Up to 48 hours after purchase, if you are not completely satisfied just let us know about it. We will give you a full refund. You are not required to give any reason. You have nothing to lose!
Getting certified?
With this series there are 12 IFS CEs available to be applied for
IFS certification for those who have completed IFS Level 1 training.
Sign up for "The Gifts of Our Exiles in IFS"
A series of 4 IFS online workshops with Paul Neustadt
Learn how to deepen the IFS healing process by focusing on the gifts of the exiles
By signing up for "The Gifts of Our Exiles in IFS" workshop series you get:
- All-time access to the recordings of 4 workshops – no time limits,
- Training materials ready for printing,
- Certificate of Completion,
- 12 IFS CEs available to be applied for IFS certification for those who have completed Level 1 training.