Art of conscious self-development

Personal development • Self-Coaching

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On the way for emotions

On the way for emotions

You do most of the things in your life in order to feel certain emotions. You realize certain behaviors rationalizing them - by telling yourself that you need to do so, while subconsciously you strive to achieve a specific emotional state.

Realizing that brings a vast field for development, because if you find such a mechanism in your life, all you have to do is find another way to achieve this emotion, so you can opt out of often completely useless and not internally ecological behavior.

Watch the video below (between 12 and 13 minute). It’s a film about a group of climbing people. The fragment I want you to watch is the one that shows the moment of ascent.

Notice the feeling of joy on their faces. See their immense pride. See the unfettered happiness. The feeling derives from achieving something great. They feel this way, because they’ve crossed their own boundaries and put a huge effort in doing so. Because they’ve set a goal and reached the top.

Watching this movie, I realized something very important. These emotions are exactly what they came for.

Of course they love mountains, views and climbing. But simultaneously they also use those things as the best way to find these emotions – pride, happiness, a sense of community with others. And this form of achieving this goal was good for them – because they enjoyed the whole process. It is an eco-friendly way to enjoy life and finding intense, positive emotional states.

But not everyone does it this way. Unfortunately, no one teaches our children how to find happiness in a healthy, natural, true way. Because teachers don’t know how to do that either. So children learn that luck can be gained by competing, caring only about themselves, becoming obedient or not pursuing your dreams.

People who grew up this way, sought the joy of life in the wrong places. They were arguing with their loved ones, because they wanted to feel appreciated and therefore valuable. They were clipping others’ wings to show their one-upmanship. They did all those things in order to feel better – but, in fact, obtained an entirely opposite effect.

Later, however, they began to realize that you there’s another way – easier, better, faster. You just have to smile from the inside. Accept yourself, trust yourself. Just smile at others and begin to discover the joy of life acting ecologically – for yourself and for others. That gives much better results. The process is pleasant and the effect is great.

Instead of crying into your beer to get others’ attention, you can help them with something. Instead of arguing to feel relief after reconciliation, you can invite your partner for a romantic dinner. Instead of complaining about your life in order to feel that you’re not ignoring your problems, you can sit down with a piece of paper and work on them. Instead of using poor roads to find positive emotions you can find better, much more efficient and environmentally friendly ones.

Locate situations which generate unpleasant emotions in your life. How do you do that? What are these behaviors? What is your intention in them? To which emotions are they supposed to lead you? And where do they really lead you?

Then think about another possibility of achieving this emotion. On another behavior that will bring you the same effect. Find a solution which is healthier and more pleasant. Close your eyes and imagine yourself realizing it- how do you feel? What is the course of this situation? See how you reach the emotion that comes up in your body.

Now your mind has a reference point, an image – a visual representation of a situation where you were able to implement new behavior. It will be the basis to ensure that this behavior appeared, at the right time and place.

Commit with all your heart, that next time you do exactly that – and thank yourself when indeed that happens, because you’ve just reached the top.



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