Art of conscious self-development

Personal development • Self-Coaching

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Get rid of fear of losing

Get rid of fear of losing

Does the fear of losing paralyse you and keeps you away from being successful? Many people live without realizing their potential because of fear of being a loser.

Today I’m going to show you how to overcome this feeling and start taking even the biggest challenges. You’ll completely change your way of thinking about defeat, what’s more – you’ll get to liking it!

You’re probably scared to death

The feeling of fear plays a vital role – it’s supposed to protect you from the negative effects of your actions. So I don’t believe that we don’t need fear in our lives. It’s essential when we are in the life and health threatening situation. It prevents us from certain actions which could end up bad for us. But somehow fear has become pervasive in our lives. Why is it the case?

Recall your primary school times. We were taught that making mistakes is very bad for us. By triggering negative emotions when a student does something wrong, teachers effectively drum into the heads that failures are to be afraid of. And in this way fear settled where it’s completely useless or even harmful.

The feeling of fear for failure makes people behave irrationally – they don’t take steps towards making their lives better because they’re afraid that it won’t change anything. Or that it’ll make their lives even more miserable. They’re also afraid that friends will laugh at them, that family will be disappointed and they’ll reproach themselves till the end of their lives: “you shouldn’t have done it!” And so they stick at the same place, trembling at the thought of acting. People give up starting businesses, investing money, performing in front of other people, making friends and reaching their dreams.Only because they’re afraid.Do you want to be one of them, petrified and unable to act?

The prize for giving up fear

If you’re reading this article, the answer is “no”. And that’s the way it should be, because if you overcome fear for failure, you’ll start acting. And this is the most important step towards achieving your life goals.You’ll start acting because you’ll be motivated by the belief in success, full of enthusiasm and energy.

What you need to do is to instil positive feelings concerning the ability to take new challenges. So that the moment a new idea comes to your mind, the new thought arises “Yes, I want to do it! I’ll make it! I’ll succeed!”. This thought will encourage you to act swiftly. And even if you won’t succeed the first time, it won’t matter. You’ll say to yourself “Ok, I did that wrong, I did this right, so the previous one needs to be improved and the latter one can be left” and you’ll keep going on. And thanks to such an approach you’ll finally succeed no matter what you get down to. You’ll be happy that you didn’t let fear for failure prevent you from acting.

 

How to get rid of fear for failure?

The change of approach is the key. You’ll read about it in the first chapter. Apart from this, there are a few other things that you can do to get rid of fear for failure.

 

1. There are no failures, there is only feedback.  Write it down and let it become your way of looking at failures. Try to understand that failure is invaluable. Every failure brings wisdom and knowledge. If something doesn’t work out, it’s the sign to do it differently. So you’re a big step closer to the success. Thomas Edison had created hundreds failed lighting bulbs before he managed to create the good one. Now he is considered as an extraordinary inventor. If he had been afraid of failure, he wouldn’t have probably made any attempt. And even if he had, he would have been discouraged after a few failed attempts.

So look at a failure as a result of your actions. If the result is not as you planned beforehand, then it’s a great chance for you to learn something new – next time you’ll act differently.  You’ve been enriched with experience.Remember that every way to success can lead through some failures – it’s the natural course of events. There are many things you have to learn to achieve success, and it is the failure that is the best teacher! This way of thinking is absolutely necessary if you are to become successful.

 

2. Imagine the consequences of continuously giving up challenges for the next 10 years. How will your life look, if you’re going to be always afraid of failure, if you’re never going to take risk? And now imagine that you take advantage of every upcoming opportunity and you take various challenges. Think that the risk you take pays off – you become successful as soon as you put your mind to it. So if only you get rid of feeling of failure, you’ll see how your life can look in 15 years. Which life do you choose?

 

If you have been afraid of losing so far, in all likelihood when you were to do something, you probably always imagined what could go wrong. For example you could see that you wouldn’t pass the driving licence exam, you could see the examiner saying “I’m so sorry, but you’ve failed”, you could see yourself walking away overcome with sadness and disappointment. Such images are the main source from which you feed your fear.

So from now on you’ll start imagining the most positive course of events of a given situation that can conceivably take place. Always visualize a successful end of events. Sit down for a couple of minutes, relax, close your eyes and start visualizing. Look at how an examiner gives you a smile and says “my congratulations, you’ve passed”. Feel it when you start to smile and feel overwhelming joy. Imagine your friends congratulating you and how you receive your driving license. Such an exercise will motivate you and make you feel self-confident and fear for failure will disappear quickly.

 

4.  Don’t take a failure too seriously. If something goes wrong, it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you! It means that your moves were not accurate enough. So it will do to change your course of action to become successful. Many people who have met with defeat at once tend to form an opinion about themselves. And these are not favourable opinions. Avoid this mistake because defeat never tells anything about your character or capabilities but only about the actions you took.

 

With this new mode of thinking about defeat you can finally start taking challenges while being filled with strength, self-confidence and motivation. Let me know by leaving a comment whether the image of failure still petrifies you or whether it constitutes a completely new perspective thanks to which you become a more experienced person.

 



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